Woke up this morning to a text message from the step son (who is still at his grandpas, visiting) saying that his mom is in jail.
I was wondering why we didn’t get late night texts from her, harassing us. That’s out of character for her to NOT harass us when she is in a manic state like this.
What gets me about this whole thing is she is still trying to pretend that she is so wonderful and collected as a human being, when a simple Google search if her name and county show hat she is obviously not!
While reading Say Goodbye To Crazy, it points out that a lot of high conflict women like to file temporary orders. So, we did some searching and we discovered several civil suits of independent parties have sued her for money she owes them. Several thousand dollars worth. Accumulative, I’d say it’s over $15-$20k in money she borrowed from people that she has never paid back… and that’s just what we know about! There’s probably several thousand more that we don’t have proof of! We found a few restraining orders against her. Likely for the harassment that she likes to dish out when she wants the power struggle, several restraining orders she has filed against other people – surprisingly I’m NOT on that list – and one DWI with assault to a police officer from last summer. Yet, even with all of this actual legal evidence that she doesn’t have her life together, she still thinks of herself as high and mighty! She still wants to point the crooked finger when you say something that could even be remotely construed as insulting to her.
Well put together women don’t need the power struggle! Well put together women don’t steal money from old ladies, co-workers, friends, and in several cases family. Well put together women don’t need to harass and belittle people. That’s what I think bothers me the most.
As for myself, I have a strong moral compass. I don’t need to lie or put on a front to anyone and I don’t try to! The way I see it, my natural sense of morality will keep me from being seen as a bad person, so I have no need to hide or pretend. I’ve been seen as stupid, sure. Weird, definately! But there isn’t a person out there who would see me as “cruel” because I’m not. Women who need to hide behind a veil of victimization and a persona of perfect little stepford woman do so because they have something to cover up! It’s all coming to light, still with her and I can’t understand how she doesn’t see that well put together women don’t have a rap sheet.
This book is begging those who have to deal with women like this to accept their crazy. I have a very hard time with this. I don’t want to just let someone be so horrible. My personal sense of justice wants them to pay for their sins because that’s what the real world is like. It’s unjust and pisses me off that this woman gets away with this kind of crap without being thrown in the loonie bin where she belongs for life!
I know, I know… I shouldn’t let it get to me so much. I understand. But this burning hot ball of rage that I have against her prevents me from ACCEPTING that she is a crazy, psycho, whack-a-doo! I want to slam her head against a wall and make her WAKE THE FUCK UP! Mostly because people that abuse and hurt everyone around them are the worst kind of people, in my opinion!
I read a book once called Inside The Criminal Mind. It talks about people like this and the psychology and thinking behind it. I’ve noticed many of the same research and references from both Inside The Criminal Mind and Say Goodbye To Crazy. SGTC refers to these woman as having severe personality disorders and ITCM refers to people with this way of thinking as criminals. It’s all the same, I guess. That lack of empathy and need to hurt people to get your way (and throw a tantrum when you don’t get it) is the same in both High Conflict Birth Mothers and criminals, alike. They will burn the house down with them inside if it means he person they want to hurt goes down with them. It’s pathetic!
There will come a day when all of this is behind us! When I am no longer plagued with this anger and hatred that I hold toward her. I have a lot of soul searching and healing to do myself before I can get there.
Until I get to that point, however, all I can do is continue to find productive ways to handle this woman. I will continue to get a little kick out of dismissing her. Every time she has reached out to me in the past year, I’ve changed the subject to Harry Potter, Mean Girls, Lord Of The Rings, or some other insane topic that derailes her attempt to suck me into her crazy! Double win that it bothers her to her core that I’m seemingly unaffected by her insanity.
I’m dreading pick up today for the kid. I really don’t want this woman back in our lives. Unfortunately, Crazy will do whatever it takes to make everything about her and insert herself where she doesn’t belong and isn’t wanted. She has some sick justification for this and I will NEVER understand.