When First We Practice To Deceive
My last post was about manipulation. I want to focus on a very specific point of that topic… the lie.
We have ALL done it. From white lies to protect someone’s self-esteem or get out of trouble to tall tales so you can give an answer to the person interviewing you for a fantastic job. We all do it! I read an article once in which a parent admitted they told their toddlers that when they lied, a star shows up on their forehead and that’s how they know the kids are lying. From that point on, the children would cover their foreheads with their hand when they lied. Yes, parents tell lies to figure out when a child lies.
“Santa won’t bring you presents unless you are good for the two weeks leading up to Christmas! Then, he will sneak into your house like the creepy monster he is, but because he is a good monster he leaves presents instead of murdering you and your family. So be good… otherwise he will bring you coal.
“The Easter Bunny will hop into your house while you are sleeping and leave you a basket full of goodies. No, I don’t know why. He just does it. No I don’t know how a bunny can carry all of those baskets from house to house in one night… he just does. And then, before he leaves, he will hide eggs all over the damn place and make you search for them because he is a manipulator and likes to fuck with small children… no, not that way… you’re disgusting!”
Yes, we are all guilty of lying to our children. All of our children are guilty of lying to us. I asked my readers what ridiculous lies their parasites have given to them and most of the stories have one thing in common… trying to get their way.
From “I didn’t touch the presents under the tree, the (4 pound) cat did it!” – it was a 5 pound present – to the outlandish stories of “At school, a unicorn burst through the door and killed everyone with the horn on its head! It was a difficult day! I can’t clean my room right now!”
So, this begs me to question, what do we do when there is a constant liar in the home? In our house, it is a VERY big deal. Full grounding, no electronics, to bed early, and sometimes a chore list depending on the severity of the lie. This is for EVERY lie, big or small. We have found if he is getting away with the small ones without punishment, it escalates to the major lies. It is a constant struggle and a major source of stress for me. We have finally got him to understand that we do not believe anything that comes out of his mouth at this point due to the frequency of the lies. It’s beyond frustrating to go through all of his words with a fine toothed comb to pick out the fact from fiction. We have gotten lies about topics of conversation between him and his friends to him denying it was him that set the rubber bands on fire in the back yard. It has begun to decrease in severity at this point, but I can tell he is still testing the waters with what he can get away with.
What are some of the hilarious lies you’ve told to your kids? How do you handle pathological liars in your house? Leave comments and keep the conversation going!