I would firstly like to personally thank you for reading my ranting. I truly appreciate you trusting me to advise and guide you. Second, I would like to point out that I am in no position to advise and guide you. I am in no way a lawyer, counselor, therapist or life coach. I am a millennial. We cannot afford college to get a degree in any of those things to begin with. We are a generation skipping the sixty plus thousand dollars’ worth of debt to gain a piece of paper we will only be able to afford to put in a ten-dollar frame due to an economy in which a retail manager’s salary is just over what BA in education would make. I am just a woman, married to a man with an ex-wife and a child. With that been said, any likeness in this blog which may resemble any real person alive or dead is purely coincidental and all my references to situations are a work of fiction. Don’t be a jackass and take any of this piece to heart. As I said, I am a nobody. Just a work-a-day woman with a hobby to write on a subject that is either taken way too seriously and bland or so religious you cannot relate.
In knowing I am just a nobody, you are reading my ramblings because you are desperate. Desperate for knowledge, information, someone or something to reference to a very common household dynamic. Step parenting is a difficult situation and there is no one-size-fits-all advice or way to handle being in this kind of situation. Step parenting is a tough job, no matter the age of the child you are now taking responsibility for. No one writes on what to do with finding a water bottle full of reproductive fluids that you may or may not find in your teenaged shit bags closet. That does not mean that you have failed as a step parent or that I have failed you. It means step parenting is messy and people are bat-shit crazy!
My first piece of advice – other than to heed my warnings – is to find a support group. I know, you are super woman and you can do everything on your own, but FIND A SUPPORT GROUP. Even if you have an excellent support system in place, it’s not the same as connecting with a wide array of men or woman who are going through EXACTLY what you are going through who can help with the quirks and the” what the fuck” moments that I don’t have the ability cover. No matter how wonderful these little “angles” are, every step child in some way, shape, or form is a little demon from the fires of Hell. They do spawn from the Devil, after all. Additionally, no matter how much we LOVE our husbands, they are winey little bitches too, and often stubborn ass-hats making our lives more difficult.
But, back to support groups, they are important. Make friends with other step parents. They’re out there. You can find them on blogs, Facebook groups, chat rooms, meet ups… even at your local bar or pub because most of us are forced to take up drinking for doing a thankless and over looked job day in and day out. Parenting is always a thankless job, but have you tried being a step mother on Mothers’ Day? Get ready to be blamed when things go wrong, ignored when you need attention, and ready to do the work of a mother without the recognition. Welcome to being a step parent!
Second most important advice, take care of yourself! Put you first because it is your life too! Even if you are simply taking a bubble bath every night, getting a massage, a self-done mani-pedi, sitting in the garage with a cigarette and a glass of wine talking shit on the phone with a friend, or going to the gym and running until your heart can’t take it anymore. Take some you time and focus on you! It’s allowed, I promise. It’s your life, take control of it and DECOMPRESS! These fuckers are draining the life out of you! As I said, you are reading this blog because you are so desperate, a fellow sarcastic and crude step-mother is your solace now.
So, grab the box of wine, sit down and have some laughs with me! You need it! Please, feel free to comment any suggestions for future blog post’s.
Step Mommy Dearest