12 Days of Shitmas

On the first day of Christmas break my darling stepson gave to me….

A toilet seat covered in pee.

On the second day of Christmas break my stepson gave to me…

Two full blown migraines
And a toilet seat covered in pee

On the third day of Christmas break my stepson gave to me…

Three sarcastic eye rolls
Two full blown migraines
And the pee covered toilet seat

On the fourth day if Christmas break my stepson gave to me…

Four loads of dishes
Three sarcastic eye rolls
Two full blown migraines
And the toilet is still covered in pee

On the fifth day of Christmas break my stepson gave to me….

Five loads of laundry!
Four loads of dishes
Three sarcastic eye rolls
Two full blown migraines
Just wipe the pee off the toilet seat

On the sixth day of Christmas break my stepson gave to me….

Six lame excuses
Five loads of laundry
Four loads of dishes
Three sarcastic eye rolls
Two full blown migraines
And a toilet still covered in pee

On the seventh day of Christmas break my stepson gave to me…

Seven Weird Al songs
Six lame excuses
Five loads of laundry
Four loads of dishes
Three sarcastic eye rolls
Two full blown migraines
And I just sat in the kids fucking pee

On the eighth day of Shitmas break my stepson gave to me…

Eight “your not my mom”s
Seven Weird Al songs
Six lame excuses
Five loads of laundry
Four loads of dishes
Three sarcastic eye rolls
Two full blown migraines
And I thought I told you to wipe off the toilet seat!

On the ninth day of Christmas break my stepson gave to me…

Nine different fart smells
Eight “Your not my mom”s
Seven Weird Al songs
Six lame excuses
Five loads of laundry
Four loads of dishes
Three sarcastic eye rolls
Two full blown migraines
And there’s still pee on the toilet seat

On the tenth day if Christmas break my stepson gave to me…

Ten stupid questions
Nine different fart smells
Eight “Your not my mom”s
Seven annoying Weird Al songs
Six lame excuses
Five loads of laundry
Four loads of dishes
Three sarcastic eye rolls
Two full blown migraines
And the pee is starting to stink

On the eleventh day of Christmas break my stepson gave to me…

Eleven obvious lies
Ten stupid questions
Nine different fart smells
Eight “You’re not my mom”s
Seven Weird Al songs
Six lame excuses
Five loads of laundry
Four loads of dishes
Three sarcastic eye rolls
Two full blown migraines
And I’m about to kill you over the toilet seat

On the twelfth day of Shitmas break the evil piss-wad demon spawn gave to me…

Twelve new fucking wrinkles
Eleven stupid lies I’ve heard before
Don’t you dare ask me another question
Your farts smell like shit, kid
I don’t want to be your mom
Stop playing that Weird Al song
Your excuses can suck my balls
I’m not folding your socks
Wash your own damn dishes
If you roll your eyes one more time…
Don’t talk, I have a splitting migraine
And clean off the fucking toilet seat!

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